Staring at a blank wall, sometimes you can recognize and appreciate the wholeness of it all…or the nothingness it might appear to be when you are up close. That pretty much sums up what life feels like at the current moment.
Trust me, I want to find beauty in the cold, white expanse that winter is. But…it…is…hard. I see the beauty of each tiny snowflake floating to the ground, light as a fluffy, downy feather. But as a combined sum or as a whole entity…it makes me one crabby lady. Each passing year, the struggle finds me like a goose returning to it’s mating grounds.
I wouldn’t necessarily call it seasonal depression – but rather, a seasonal slump. No longer am I able to toil in the warmth of the sun, watch the gardens flourish or enjoy the ease of walking outside in flip flops. Winter simply makes me feel cold, cluttered, cooped up and lacking purpose.
So, I feel, reflect, pray, contemplate my purpose, passion and goals for the winter seasons of my life. Yes, seasons are plural because I don’t see a move to a beachfront condo in my near future. I require a long-term plan that will work for me in my current locale. One that gets me all reved up and feeling fulfilled without regard to the frostiness of the season.
For some, passions and purpose come easily. Others, circumstances seem to just fall in their lap. More yet, must fight to find their passion or it will forever be nothing more than a pipe dream. I am included in the latter group. But, what do you do when you feel like you lack the basic fundamentals of anything that resembles motivation?!
You make a list.
Whether its a Bucket List, a To-Do List or even a Grocery List, it gives you direction. Not just a direction, but a directive to achieve, something to accomplish and to look forward to. In my case, moving forward, eventually out of winter and into the warmth of the sunshine once again.
So, today’s goals will include making a few of those lists and adding events to my calendar. From Pantry remodel planning, to creating tonight’s anticipated dinner and keeping the wood stove burning, they are all steps forward. Maybe yoga will make it onto the schedule once again? Or something with a bit more community involvement? (oh, how my introverted personality shudders)
The point here is this – we are always moving forward – like it or not. We can choose to do it with grace and a purpose (i.e., that proposed list) or life will drag us along by our hair with very little to show for it. If we are lucky, perhaps a deep ingrained passion will find its way into our bones keeping us fueled up and on fire no matter the season.